For Whom the Bell Tolls

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less... [Likewise] Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee..." (by John Donne Meditation 17 Devotions upon Emergent Occasions)

The bolded phrase is a famous quote that I often consider when I hear of someone's passing; especially of a person I didn't know well, but was from my community. The context to Mr. Donne's devotional is that in times past the community would toll (ring) the church bell to signal the passing of a member of the community. Those in the surrounding countryside would send someone to town to find out for whom the bell tolls.

He was making the point that a part of each of us passes away with every member of mankind that passes away. Back then, in a small community if you were close to the person who died, you would already know for whom the bell tolls at the time you heard it. But, if you were not close to the person, you might be curious enough to send to know for whom the bells tolls; however, when it comes right down to it, the specific name may not really matter so much because no matter for whom the bell happens to be tolling you are actually being notified that a part of you has been diminished..."it tolls for thee".

On Sunday, August 2, 2009 the bell tolled in my community of Lacey, WA for a young man who died in a sad and traumatic accident. Today, August 9, 2009, my family attended the visitation and tomorrow we will attend the memorial. He was a friend and a classmate of my eldest daughter. His sisters are friends of our family and considered part of our family. My wife is friends with the parents of two of the other boys involved in the accident. I don't really know any of the others involved in the accident or their families and had never even shaken hands with the young man who died. I do consider his two sisters to be my friends and almost like daughters to me.

Yet, despite the lack of a direct and close personal connection to this young man, this young man's death has diminished me. I felt this diminishment strongly as I stood around at the visitation. I know I will feel it tomorrow at the memorial. This diminishment is not just because I see my daughter grieving the loss of her friend or my friends grieving the loss of their brother. I was not even able to read the notes written in his memory on a giant board because they exposed the sense of loss and grief that is within me and I really did not want to cry in that setting. Inside I am grieving the loss of a young man I have never met simply because we were both involved in mankind and had close personal connections in common.

In a way I am surprised at the depth of my emotion over this. I shouldn't be because I have long believed the truth of the statement that "any man's death diminishes me", but I am surprised nonetheless. Therefore, I am reminded again that any man's death should be a trigger for me to consider my own life and the impact I am making. I encourage you to make something useful out of the death of this fine young man by considering your own life and the directions you are taking and decisions you are making.